Tattoo Iran
Tattoo Iran
Comment on my poem please, The Royal International Air Tattoo in Fairford England was cancelled without notice
RIAT 2008 Poem
Rank on rank the fighting planes
Standing useless in the rain
Grounded by the leaden hand
Of the health and safety man.
Nuclear bombers Old and New
B 1B, B 52.
Tornado and Typhoon lie
On the ground not in the sky
Pilots, they whose work requires
Dodging Anti aircraft fire,
And every once in a while
They have to dodge a SAM missile
Veterans of Afganisan
And that place next to Iran.
British and American
Don't impress the Safety man.
The Friday Flypast is allowed
To impress the select crowd
Sheila, Chair of CDC.
The Queen and other VIPs
But main event is cancelled for
Friday they suffered a downpour
And while completely safe to fly
With safety regs they don't comply
Car parks are the problem see
The rain had made them slippery
If cars get stuck in the wet earth
It's more than Safety mans jobs worth.
al seperts little e book of war poems.
copyright al sepert MMVIII
First, I love the poem. How ironic! I was in the military, and am a Gulf War veteran. (American Forces in Desert Storm, 1991). I can see how this would happen. An air show canceled for ground safety!
I've been part of the Medical Dept/Safety. working airshows. So I know how they operate...That is what brought it home to me. As a veteran, and one who has been to airshows, I salute you.
You have a few small technical issues that you need to work out. For instance "safety man" in first verse, then "Safety man in fourth verse. You should capitalize or not capitalize the same way each verse.
If you chose free verse, don't change a thing with the way you structured your poem. Though, the second and fifth verses are a little hard to read...I still liked it. Poems don't always have to follow a rigid structure.
Persian/Iranian Tattoos خال کوبی های ایرانی
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